“Hi Jess. I want you to know that I think about Lincoln almost every day, he reminds me and inspires me to make the most of each moment with my little guys. I hope this message is ok to send. I was just reflecting on how much of an impact your little man has likely made in this world. You are always in my prayers.”
I have a story for sharing on your page. First and foremost I am so very sorry for your loss. There are no words deep enough to help ease the sorrow. In September 2007, after having 3 girl pregnancies, 2 of which were viable, we found out we were finally having our BOY!! I felt far too lucky to have this happen, but after giving birth to a beautiful baby peanut in May 2008 I gave a huge sigh of relief! He was here and that was that!
Unfortunately 2 1/2 short months later, that was ripped straight out of my chest along with my heart when I found my son on July 22nd 2008, had been deceased for hours. The trauma and lack of control I suffered was so difficult some days, that I found myself on all fours, gasping to get enough air.
As moms, we have a natural instinct and duty to make things right- to make everything okay. When I lost all control and couldnt fix it, I thought I’d surely lose it! I spent so much time thinking I’d just have another baby, I’d just brush it under the rug… From what I can remember, it’s possible I spent a good 6 months to a year pushing this behind me. It caught up. My grief stages started when everyone else had moved on and gotten past it, or so it felt.
An autopsy, a funeral… I was angry, I was full of hatred, I was a mess! My loss of Baby Joey was soon followed by two miscarriages- one being so close to deadly I can hardly believe it myself! When a miscarriage literally rolls off your shoulders as if it were the flu, you know you’ve seen life at its absolute worst! Again, I’m so very sorry for your loss and just wanted to share my story and thank you for your strength to pick up your pieces and make something from this! Your son is so deserving of this legacy! Lincoln and Joey are no doubt playing in heaven as they bring us together to climb this mountain and face this journey no longer alone, but knowing others feel our pain and understand our feelings! God Bless!
Kristi Shinnick
Hi Kristi,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am just now seeing your comment. I am so very sorry for your loss. It definitely helps knowing there are other momma’s out there who know our struggle and grief and pain!-Jessica, Lincoln’s Angels